“Give me a striptease. Give me a striptease, Saskia! Give me a striptease and hurry! HURRY!”
—
My little sister, ladies and gentlemen.
yeah I don’t know either.
July 2009
June 2009
hey love crusader, i want to be your space invader
for you i will descend into the deepest moon crater.
a killer key change is all you'll ever need
so damn easy to please
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Britney Spears to Top-Line Holocaust Film? →
postchronicle.com
sade:
The National Ledger website reports: “If she accepts the role, Britney will reportedly play the main role of Sophia LaMont, who creates a time machine and travels back to World War II where she meets a Jewish man called Eton at a concentration camp.”
YES
Hahahahaha oh my lord please let this be true.
“I wanted you to hold my hand, not eat my hand!”
—
Me, to my sister after holding my hand out with the intention of telling her she’s my best friend.
This didn’t happen because she started licking it instead.
- S~: you have a face.
- Portia: you have a face!
- S~: no I don't. I have a gaping hole of immorality.
well, that's reassuring
- Portia: How is Mike?
- S~: Sexy.
- Portia: Well, I knew THAT.
- S~: What.
- Portia: I mean, no, I don't think he's sexy!
- S~: What.
- Portia: I mean, I think he's sexy but I wouldn't have sex with him!!!!
- S~: ...
- Portia: You need to tumbl that.
- Portia: Do you know how to see someone's Myspace if it's private?
- Me: ...no.
Listen
Sneaker Pimps — Post-Modern Sleaze
she takes everything they steal,
she fakes every pain they feel,
she must be a Thelma or Louise,
she must be a post modern tease.
idk I love this band and, at the moment, I can’t get enough of this song
How It Will Likely Happen
While the worlds attention is diverted for the next 72 hours by the death of a faded pop star whose relevance outside of dark jokes faded 20 years ago, the Iranian authorities will go in like rabid dogs smelling fresh blood and feast on the flesh of tens of thousands seeking freedom. Then an Islamic Republic shorn of its democratic facade and mandate to rule will celebrate its newfound freedom by repressing the Persian masses by never before. Meanwhile, my American brothers and sisters will go back to Free Tibet bumper stickers and finding the next trendy cause.
I sure as hell hope not.Tragic because it’s true
- Me (stops walking suddenly): OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD!
- Kyle: What?
- Me: Fuck!
- Kyle: What?!
- Me: I totally forgot to DVR Princess Protection Program! Shit!
- Kyle: .....is that the like, preteen Disney movie?
- Me: YES.
- Kyle: Are you 15? Am I being wildly illegal right now?
- Me: You know what, sometimes I just want to watch a film starring today's hottest Disney celebrities with a wholesome message and a moral ending, ok???
- Kyle: Hey, I'm not judging...
- Me: You are. I can feel you.
- --------------------
- I feel your pain.
Listen
Julia, We Don’t Live In The Sixties — The Indelicates
So spare me a thought when you’re old and you’re finished
A listing wreck off greenwich village
Write me a letter that I’ll never reply to
You know what I’m like better than I do
Tell me about how you sleep at night
Tell me about your consolations
Lie to me, say you still fight
Tell me death will be alright, oh
We’ve never had it so good
Never had it so good
We’ve never had it so good,
Life is sweet.
eta the posting of this isn’t inspired by anything — i tried to post it last night and it didn’t go through
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